Archive for December 21st, 2009

I was just sent this joke by text (I get numerous ones every day) from a friend, and it seems particularly festive. It goes:

A couple are on holiday in Jerusalem and the man’s wife suddenly dies.

The husband consults the local undertaker who advises that the options are either to ship the cadaver back home at a cost of £5000 or to bury the wife in Jerusalem, at a cost of £1000.

The husband says, ship her home.

But why, the undertaker exclaims, when your beloved can be buried in the most holy place in Christendom?

Well, says the man, I understand a couple of thousand years ago a certain man was buried here and three days later he rose from his grave – quite frankly I cannot take the risk!

OK, I think it is funny!

Wilt

Posted by Wilt on December 21, 2009

Not are only MPs, BBC executives and the rest squandering and lining their own pockets with taxpayer money, but so are those Lords and Ladies in the Upper House or Other Place, as it is known.

See the BBC article here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8424381.stm

I wonder if Wilt will be on the Gong List this year – for services to social care and journalism. Mmmmmm, perhaps not – but you never know. Most people admire his professional work, some admire his journalism but unfortunately the latter does tend to piss off most government agencies – and most if not all associated with social care are regular visitors to regulator watch.

However, they only think they know who Wilt is – so perhaps they will overlook him on that basis and award the Gong to the chap they least suspect. A clue might however be given away when I choose “Lord Wilt of Internet” as the title.

Dream on Wilt. However, if it were I could get a third home and Lord myself around in Ermine and look like a proper Dork. If not (and nothing from Buckingham Palace has yet arrived) I will content myself knowing that the thieving bastards in the House of Lords will soon be a little short of pocket money.

Meanwhile that Pratt Bercow continues to bemoan the decline in the perceptions of the political class in his apartments shared with his drunk slapper wife of years gone by – she that hopes to be elected as a Labour Councillor in Westminster. If she is voted in, I am definitely leaving the Country. Not only is she stupid, she looks stupid – seems the pairing with the Speaker of the House was made in heaven.

See article here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/6856285/MPs-expenses-John-Bercow-describes-disastrous-year-for-the-Commons.html

Gawd Bercow looks like a right twat.

What happened to the Mother of Democracy? It’s become a form of prostitution and to make as much personal gain as possible for those who claim to serve the public good.  Sounds like a certain Leamington Spa woman we are aware of, and her queer MP (queer as in “surprising, funny, astonishing, perplexing, odd, curious, unexpected and remarkable” – according to the Microsoft Word online dictionary).  “Odd” and “curious” being particularly operative in his context, eh Mr Plaskitt?

Role on the election! Plaskitt and numerous other MPs (mostly Labour) will be taking up new careers, in the real world (unless of course they join a quango or a local authority). Then what will Mrs C do? Gosh, no one else will listen to her (seriously) – the little girl exclaimed “help” once too often like the shepherd boy just too numerous times he called wolf.

Wilt

Posted by Wilt on December 21, 2009

The Telegraph regularly publish photographs from around the world as well as sponsoring Photographer of the Year competitions. Here is a sample of today’s photo gallery.

First the latest G&T (in this case Gin & Titanic) accessory – I must get a set of these, and whoever suggestion they are disrespectful to the memory of the Titanic victims needs to get a life. See the pic here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/6840368/The-week-in-pictures-18-December-2009.html?image=8

Next up:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/6840368/The-week-in-pictures-18-December-2009.html?image=12

Is this woman firkin mad? Bet her nipples got a bit hard, along with the rest of her!

Now I would not call myself either a prude (Gawd forbid) nor insensitive to people’s feelings about their faith but this picture really does rather amuse. See the picture her – serious Christians are advised to avoid looking:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/6840368/The-week-in-pictures-18-December-2009.html?image=15

I think it would make a rather nice Xmas card!

And here is the must have mantelpiece icon to remind you that politicians head up the list of those we like to hate (that is not hard to achieve):

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/6840368/The-week-in-pictures-18-December-2009.html?image=19

All I want for Xmas are my two front Teeth, comes to mind!

This is my kind of Santa and her elves:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/6840368/The-week-in-pictures-18-December-2009.html?image=21

I will sit on their lap any day!

Meanwhile, in the search for Wilt he is captured in a state of undress with Mrs Wilt looking on in admiration – ladies please form an orderly queue, and remember you can touch!

See Wilt here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/theweekinpictures/6840368/The-week-in-pictures-18-December-2009.html?image=22

We recommend the Telegraph anyway, but it’s regular photo gallery is brilliant. On line version here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

Wilt

Posted by Wilt on December 21, 2009